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包括的に褒める

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ペイペイのポイントを投資に廻す 運用設定モードみたいなので6000円くらい損してて焦る。

 

 

 

仔犬のシーズーを火曜の朝からホテルで預かってます。(名前は伏せます)

 

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めちゃ小さな頃からパピパに参加してくれてましたが

最近は興奮や荒さも見せるようになって、上手く経験がさせられていなくてママも困ってます。

 

はじめてこの子を見た瞬間の感じたこの子の能力の高さや将来性を確認したい気持ちが強くて。

GW明けて頭数が少ないので保育要素が足りない分、出稽古的なお泊りに勝手にしてます(笑)

 

 

火曜 昼の散歩→パピパ→夜の散歩

水曜 朝の散歩→昼ドッグラン→子供の習い事の待ち時間 河川敷散歩

木曜 朝から散歩→ドッグラン 

 

今日は夜雨が降るそうだから 出稽古終了かもしれないですが一定の成果が出たし、確認も出来ました。

11時の時点でこれです。

 

 

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この子を預かって感じた事は沢山あるけど、タイトルにあるように

「包括的に褒める」って事が言いたくて。

たぶんそんな日本語は無くて。

似たような表現だと 「存在を愛おしむ」「ありのままを受け止める」とか・・・。

 

 

ホテルに来て早々に トイレシートにおしっこを成功させたんですけど

「おぉ ○○ 偉いじゃないか!」って伝えた時の この子の喜び方に違和感を感じて

具体的に言うと。 褒め方に対して「そんなに喜ぶ必要ある?」って違和感は

 10年位前にも似たようなのを感じてて。

 

ホテルの犬を散歩に連れ出したとき

前を一切見ないで、ずっとこっち見て歩いてるのを見た時の衝撃的な違和感。

単純に「そんなオヤツの登場期待しながら歩いててもつまんないだろ」ってその時は思ったんですけど。

オヤツのあるなしとか違いはあっても

「そこ褒める必要ある?」「そんな喜ぶ必要ある?」 

そんな両者の違和感はある意味近いです。

 

 

オヤツの崩壊はいつか必ず訪れると思っていて、

使うのが駄目という訳ではなく

 

オヤツの弊害は気づいてないだけで沢山あって

分かりやすい場面で言うと

月齢、過去のトラウマなどを客観的に分析して

「そんな吠える必要ある?」って感じで必死に吠える子は大体おやつを弊害を受けてます。

 

昨日の朝 子犬の大型犬を散歩してる人がいて

細かく丁寧におやつを与えながら、まさに社会化真っ最中って感じでしたが

正直「そんなオヤツいる?」って思います。

 

 

良い部分も多いから完全否定する訳でもないんだけれど

腑に落ちる一文があったので紹介します

 

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この本自体は多くの母親が一度は興味を持つだろう

効率の良い 褒め方・叱り方について書いてありますが僕が興味を持ったのは

 

「無条件に褒める」 「条件付きで褒める」 事の違いです。

 

 

僕はこの子の 能力や将来性を信じているので 

その子の存在を好きになって接しました。

勿論何度か叱る事はあるけど、前提として大好きな訳です。

そんな日本語ないけど「包括的に褒める」。

 

感覚的な話になってしまうけど

そういう接し方をすると 叱る場面も、褒める場面も減ります。

うちの子達は皆そうですが 基本 正しい行動しかしないので 

褒めも叱りもしなくなります。

 

行動を褒めると 行動を褒めてもらいたくなるのは当然ですよね。

もしかしたら

存在を包括的に褒められたい気持ちが削げるのかもしれないですね。

 

 

 

やっぱり大物だと思うんだよなぁ

 

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車に乗るとすぐ寝るところとか

 

 

 

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ちょっとベンチで休憩したら、すぐにヘソ天で寝るところとか。

 

昨日の晩はハッピーと遊んでました。

目が見えなくなってハッピーは前より犬を選ぶようになりましたから

 

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そろそろお時間になりました

最後まで読んでいただきありがとうございました。

 

 

 

 

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